Lê Bội San had a difficult childhood…
From a young age, she witnessed her mother being abused by her father because she couldn't bear a son.
Before her younger sister was even a month old, her mother was dragged out and beaten daily by her father.
As a mere child, all she could do was run to him, cling to his legs, and beg him to spare her mother.
“Daddy, please, I beg you… don't hit my mom anymore…”
Before she could finish her plea, he mercilessly struck her too. From then on, her mother advised her to hide in a corner whenever she saw her being beaten, so she wouldn't get caught in the crossfire.
Her mother endured such humiliation in that house until her younger sister turned one. After her sister's birth certificate was finalized, she saw her father bring a beautiful woman home.
Her paternal grandmother didn't scold her father; instead, she defended him, pointing a finger directly at her mother's face and berating her:
“If you can't bear a son, then Tuấn will take a second wife. If you can't bear the shame, then take these two stray ducks and get out of the Lê family home!”
At that time, she was too young to understand what her grandmother meant by “stray ducks,” but she instinctively knew it was an insult, not a compliment.
It was as if her mother had only been waiting for those words to be uttered. She didn't plead or beg to stay; instead, she resolutely packed their belongings and took her two daughters away from the Lê family home.
“San, don't be sad about Mom, okay? I'll try my best to give you a comfortable life, just like everyone else…” She stroked San's head, then hugged her, sobbing softly. With both arms wrapped around San and her younger sister Linh, her mother continued: “It's just… we'll be missing a father… please understand, my dear.”
At five years old, she already understood what sadness and happiness were. Seeing her mother cry with such sorrow, she knew her mother had suffered greatly.
“Don't cry, Mom… little San will be a strong shoulder for you to lean on.”
…
“A quiet, understanding child.”
That was a common remark she often heard from the neighbors. Because she saw her mother's sadness, she herself suggested that she wanted to be a son.
In truth, she also liked to wear dresses and frolic around like other girls, but her mother now needed a strong shoulder more than a weak daughter like her.
“Mom, I want to be a son.”
After that, her mother went to the commune office to change her gender on her birth certificate to male and completely altered her outward appearance.
Her mother did it without a moment's hesitation, which made San wonder if her mother also preferred sons.
…
Finally, she started first grade. At that time, her mother still didn't have much money, so she sent San to an old, dilapidated school.
After she entered middle school, her mother's business prospered, so she transferred San to a better-equipped school. At the same time, San realized she had a crush on a boy.
“Lê Bội San, that name sounds like a girl's, doesn't it?” Her middle school classmates all wondered why her name was like that.
“Her parents liked it, so they named her that. You guys should stop prying into other people's business for me.”
Because of that defensive remark, she gained a close friend in middle school. Later, she realized she had secretly liked him for a long time without even knowing it.
But she was currently living as a boy. If she confessed, she might lose this only close friend.
So she decided to keep her feelings hidden until the end of high school. Her mother's business went bankrupt, which crushed her spirits.
When filling out her university applications, she randomly picked a school. She had no intention of continuing her studies anyway, so there was no point in wasting time choosing a specific one.
“Which university do you want to apply to?”
She wanted to know which university Luân was applying to. Seeing his first choice made her mood even worse.
“I'm applying to the police academy.”
The police academy? Given her current background, it was already difficult to even approach him. If he successfully got into the police academy, she wouldn't have even a one percent chance.
"San, which school are you planning to apply to?" Luân snatched the paper from her hand to look at it, his eyebrows rising in confusion.
"Why are you applying to *this* school? As far as I know, you don't even like it."
"I'm not going to study anymore..." She looked straight into Luân's eyes, a hint of regret for their friendship in her gaze.
"What's wrong, San?" Luân was quite surprised by her words, because he knew San was a pretty good student.
"I just don't feel like it anymore."
The answer was so brief that even she found it a bit strange.
"San?"
Luân didn't know what else to say because San had always been so quiet for the past seven years.
"I hope we'll see each other again someday."
Luân also felt a pang of regret for this friendship; even though San was quiet, he really liked her as a friend.
"It's up to fate."
Her words sounded cold, but only she knew that her heart was currently in turmoil because of Luân's words.
"Alright, good luck. No matter what we end up doing, just remember to keep in touch."
Looking at Luân's hopeful eyes, she secretly thought about her own future, which was hazy and full of thorns.
Could we even make it?